Waiting On Baby!

Well, five days from today is the due date. May 7th, to be exact. Today we wait. We don't know when, but we are getting excited! We attended our childbirth class today and toured the hospital. We were afraid we might not make it to the class before starting labor. Our original date was set for a month ago, but had to be postponed until this weekend.

I'm not sure everyone is aware of the miracle that has happened. I choose the word miracle because from my vantage point, no other word does it justice. My wife and I have been married for 14 years this coming May 13th. Fourteen years is a long time to be married and to not have children naturally - assuming you a couple wants children. Rachel and I began questioning the possibility of infertility about 8 years ago. Our status was simple math. No birth control and no children for 8 years meant we should talk to a doctor. Our diagnosis was never definite or even very bleak. It was always, "regulate this, start that, lower this and then things will change." Eight years grew to twelve and still nothing. Until we met a new doctor.

Rachel and I moved to Maryland in 2005 and wanted to really focus on starting a family and decided to find some real answers. Even if they were not what we wanted, we still wanted the truth. Through a series of events, including a trip out of the country, we heard of a doctor at Johns Hopkins that might could help us. From the first time we met her, we knew she was who we needed to figure out what, if anything, could be done. Rachel had been reading up on her symptoms and attempting a self-diagnosis and figured on Polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS) being the culprit. Within days, our doctor confirmed this was indeed an issue.

This was quite a relief. It was the first time in 12 years we had heard that there was an issue and that it was treatable! We were excited. The baby we had been waiting on was actually a possibility now. We used this time to decide what our future would look like, even if we were not able to have children naturally. God seemed to bring us to the point where we made the decision to adopt, no matter the outcome of naturally conceiving. Rachel and I were on vacation back home in Texas when we found out that for the very first time, after 13 years, we were pregnant. We were so excited! We couldn't believe it! We honestly were thinking that time was running out and now we had made it!

Unfortunately, our excitement was short lived. Within a few weeks, we learned that the pregnancy was not viable. Honestly, it was a huge let down, and Rachel and I spent some time really questioning God's intention or even trying to figure out why He allowed such an event to occur. Ironically, the miscarriage did produce hope. I knew that even though we didn't have a viable pregnancy, that a viable pregnancy was really possible!

One year to the day that Rachel miscarried, we found out that Rachel was pregnant again. Rachel was so excited, I was tentative. I had already been down this road once and didn't want to get too excited too quickly. We had been waiting on this day for so long - and now we had another opportunity.

It's hard to believe, that after 14 years of not knowing, wondering and waiting, the time is finally getting very close. Here we are only a week out. It could be any day now. These days do seem surreal. It's hard to take all the emotion in. We have had so much love and support from so many people, its been overwhelming. We feel like we are in a stadium with so many people cheering us on. We can't thank our family and friends enough. We are so excited! We don't know if its a boy or girl yet, ahhhh the anticipation. We are so glad that so many of our friends and family are journeying through this with us. It makes it all the more special.

God, I am so grateful to you for each of the people you have brought to Rachel and I to encourage us and support us along this 14 year journey of faith. We are so grateful to you for your faithfulness to us. You have certainly heard our prayers. May we work hard to accomplish your desires for our family over the coming years.

Thank you for all those that are with us in this as we continue, waiting on baby!

In Him,

Jason

Baby Room Day 1 & 95% Complete

Just 1 shelf, blinds, and replace closet doors then finished! Maybe I'll get that done before the baby's 5th birthday!

BabyRoom Video Update 2

I got a text message or two during the blogcast that caused me to loose audio for some reason. It's toward the end and so I've decided to let it be as-is. Anyway, the rooms coming along! Take a look!

BabyRoom Project: 2nd Color Stage

Well, it's starting to take shape! Ever so slowly, progress is being made. You may be tempted to think we are having a boy with the colors you see, but none the less, you might be mistaken! We are waiting to the birth day to find out! Below is a picture of the color scheme we've chosen. This may make the colors in the room make more sense. Oh yeah, the green at the bottom is about to be gone, so don't worry.

BabyRoom Project: Priming Stage

Big changes coming tomorrow. Note: looks like I should have primed a little lower now that I see it at a distance. Maybe I can cover it up with some really wide baseboard.

A little update!

1). Rach is doing well and we are in the 14th week of pregnancy! And by "we," I mean all of us: me, Rach, and the baby. It's been hard on me. Having to eat for 3 and continue the normal routines. It's like I'm climbing a mountain - only with a pregnant lady :)
2). I'm reading a good book by John Eldredge called Walking with God. It goes well with another book I'm reading called Letters by a Modern Mystic. It's by Frank C. Laubach.
3). I've been thinking about the nation as a whole lately. So many people with so many opinions. I'm continually intrigued by Jesus and his lack of involvement in politics. Not sure what that means for me yet. I do know that I am glad the election is over. I also know that I've grown tired of reading about all the people ready to "flee to another country" if McCain or Obama were to win. I think that is ridiculous. "For there is no authority except from God, and the authorities that exist are appointed by God. Romans 13:1"
My faith has never been in a President, but rather in a King from another Kingdom.
4. A big shout out to my friend Todd Wright is in order for his great news! Todd has recently had one of his songs off his new CD entitled All The Freed get picked up by SongDiscovery. Very cool news. Very excited for Todd and Kristin and their family as it is so evident God is doing some awesome things in their lives. You can hear all about his news here if you're so inclined.
5. I forgot to call my dad on his birthday. Yep, I'm a loser. Sorry Dad. Happy Birthday (Belated) Dad, Rach and I miss you tons!

Day Late and $ blah blah.....

Tonight I decided that I wanted to go look for an Andy Gullahorn concert to see if he was going to be close to Maryland any time soon. Robert introduced me to his music at the beginning of this year, and I really like his stuff, so I thought it would be fun to hear him live.

Today was September 10th, and I went to the site and looked for the schedule and found the following:

AndyGullahorn.com
The Official Site For Everything You Never Wanted To Know About Andy GullahornClick HERE for more information on booking shows and house concerts

September 6, 2008 Lancaster, PA
with Andrew Peterson
Lancaster Bible College
7 PM

September 7, 2008 Phoenixville, PA
with Andrew Peterson
Faith Baptist Church

September 13, 2008 Jonesboro, GA
with Andrew Peterson
First Christian Church
7:30 PM

September 14, 2008 Lindale, GA
with Andrew Peterson
First Baptist Church

September 21, 2008 Nashville, TN
Square Peg Alliance Show
with Jill Phillips, Andrew Osenga, Ben Shive and Eric Peters
12th and Porter
7:00 PM

October 4, 2008 Albany, GA
with Jill Phillips and Andrew Peterson
Porterfield United Methodist Church
The Rock Fest 2008
7:30 PM

Can you believe it!!!!?? Lancaster is maybe and 1.5hrs away, and I missed it by 3 stinkin days! I thought about looking about 3 weeks ago and I just got to it and look what happened...

O well, I'll try and catch him next time around. Sorry Andy. It would've been fun.

HyperConnected to Twitter

I decided to take up a request of my pal Todd. He requested that several people follow him in signing up with Twitter for at least a 2 week period. I noticed some of the people he asked to do it and honestly I thought that most of them would not and therefore that makes the request more appealing. It at least gives me the illusion that I'm not jumping on a bandwagon, when indeed I am.

Anyway, I will be twittering for a while, just to see if I like it...

you can follow me at www.twitter.com/jfullen

For those of you in the dark, Twitter is a news feed that I update whenever I want via web or txt that answers the question "What are you doing?" so that anyone that cares can be updated of my status.

Even when I explain it, it seems weird. O well! here goes...

Peer Pressure

Okay. So I'm not to fond of these things, but I feel that out of loyalty to friendship (and fear of backlash from the Bluebirds) I submit to you the following:

What were you doing 5 years ago?
1. Looking to buy our first home.
2. Working as a Missions Pastor/Facilites Director/Technical Director (computers and sound) and also a Student Pastor.
3. Building Mach Games Ramps at 3:00AM and still editing all night videos.
4. Buying our first house on Sandybrook.
5. Spending way to many hours away from my wife.

What are 5 things on your to-do list today (not in any particular order)?
1. Rehearsal @ 7pm
2. Brown Bag staff lunch at 11:30pm
3. Write a short script for this weekend's services
4. Email about 10 students
5. Locate a certiain DVD and make arrangements to pick it up to use it this weekend.

What are 5 snacks you enjoy?
1. Diet Dr. Pepper - it's great and reminds me of Sugar Free Dr. Pepper that I drank as a kid at the bowling alley, Lufkin Lanes.
2. Babybel Cheese
3. Bananas and granola
4. Chocolate Chip Cookies
5. Chicken in a Biskit crackers

What 5 things would you do if you were a billionaire?
1. Drive to every debtor personally and write them a final check
2. Start about 3 nonprofits; job placement, orphanage, AIDS victims
3. Buy serval businesses, including something to do with hydrogen powered cars
4. Create a Thinktank in Washington DC, centered on Student Ministry, with all their findings made available on the web.
5. Move my family to Maryland.(and Rachel's if they'd come!)

What are 5 of your bad habits?
1. Staying up to late
2. Seeing injustice, feeling convicted, becoming aware, then doing nothing.
3. Seeing others do great things and not thinking I can do great things. (If I get on to my students for thinking that can't do great things, it has to be wrong when I do it too!)
4. Law and Order
5. Knowing my ways the only way. (Notice I didn't say thinking. I can only see it my way.) - Sorry everyone.

What are 5 places you have lived?
1. Nacogdoches, TX Rachel's Parent's Home
2. Douglass, TX Our Trailer Home
3. Lufkin, TX 103 West
4. Lufkin, TX Sandybrook
5. Reisterstown, MD

What are 5 jobs you've had?
1. Poultry Farmer
2. Cabinet Maker
3. HVAC Shop Helper
4. Storeroom Clerk for MHMR
5. Pastor - Missions, Student

Tags:
I'm afraid to tag anybody. Some of the ones I would haven't blogged since Windows 95.

AAAHHHHHHH, Yeahhhhhh!

Well, we did it. Rach and I ran a 10 miler. Ouch. It was hard. But we did it!

Yep, it's my birthday!

Okay, it's been forever since I've blogged, so instead of hiding on my birthday, I will just own up to it. I know it sounds conceited to blog about your birthday, but come on it was pretty conceited of me 33 years ago as well. I mean, I made quite a fuss back then with all the attention I was demanding. At least I'm not demanding attention this time, barging in and expecting everyone to answer to my beckon call! (Wow, was I rude when I was born.) I mean, I expected so many people to drop whatever plans they had and come see me, and then there's my mom and dad, who gave up so much just to make me happy. Wow! Do I owe them alot! Thanks mom and dad for giving me such a firm foundation of family and a genuine love for Christ!

So on this birthday, I turn this whole thing around. Not Happy Birthday to me, but thank you to everyone else! I know it sounds trite, but I really am thankful to so many that have invested in me over the years, and now I'm grateful for those that have settled down to call themselves friends! You people are great! Not everyone has friends, but I do and so for that I say "thank you for being a friend."

I turn 33 today. That's roughly the same age that Jesus was crucified. Me being a pastor makes me look at Jesus and His ministry in a new light considering my new age. It makes me think of something weird. Jesus completed his ministry in 3/3.5 years. It makes me wonder about what God has in store for me in the future in regard to influencing people for eternity. I want to make everyday count. Toward that end, I've decided to change a few things. Rachel and I are running more. Notice the Nike+ pic up top. Yep, it says 8 miles. We did 6 the week before. That seems crazy. I know it's not "ministry," but I sure enjoy spending that time with Rach. I've also vowed to read more. I've even taken the extra step of rearranging furniture so I have a "reading chair." We'll see out it goes. I'm looking at this birth day as a wake up to guard against insignificance. No, I haven't lost purpose, vision, hope or am I even depressed. I just want to start finishing strong, whether I'm a 1/3 to the finish or over 1/2, and there's no better place to start again than on a birthday.

Thanks friends!

Rob's HOUSE SHOW!

I found this picture taken from a recent House Show that Ross was performing at in Sanger. Apparently, Rob wanted a little "house-show" of his own...

Ross is coming to Maryland in about 3 weeks for Weekend 180! It's going to be fun!

All The Freed

Lately, I've been listening to a song from this guy off this CD.

If you are reading this, chances are you already know Todd. If not, he is a personal friend for over 20 years. He's an incredible guy that loves Jesus and is an incredible musican and songwriter. He's just released a CD entitled All The Freed. He describes it as songs written for the church. I would recommend purchasing it from here.

Over the past 10 days or so, this song has really ministered to me. To be honest, it's a hard song to swallow. However, it's right and true. I just hope to sing it more and more as my own.

Lyrics and Music by Todd Wright:

My life is Yours for the keeping, my life is freely Yours to take
I know Your eyes are ever on me, through darkest night and brightest day

And I cannot pretend to know You
Your ways are higher than my own
So take these tears if they can be used
To make Your glory known

If it's in pain, that You're made great
Let it be, Lord, let it be
If Your true worth is shown through this hurt
Let it be, Lord, let it be
You're strength when I am weak
You're the words I can't speak
So if You want all of me...
Let it be

Poured Out

Okay. It’s time to write.

I have had very many thoughts over the past 5 days, in light of recent events. Just so we’re all on the same page, let me fill you in briefly so you can have a context for the thoughts. This past weekend, Lance and I were taking 11 people to a youth ministry conference in Ohio. The weekend had been planned for some time and we were looking forward to the time away and the focused conversation of “talking shop.”

The weather turned bad on Thursday afternoon, forcing our Friday morning departure date to leave on Thursday evening, to get ahead of the coming storm. Lance and I picked up the rental van at 4:30pm Thursday, and made plans to leave town with nine of us by 9:00pm. I made a run to Target to get Rachel’s prescription and then headed to the house to pack. About 5:45pm I decided to watch a little news while waiting for Rachel to come home. As soon as I turned the news on, I was confronted with a Breaking News bulletin. The reporter showed a map of our county and began to make report of a bad traffic accident that happened on Route 91 that involved five children including one being life-flighted. Due to the report’s proximity and detail of an SUV, my heart sank. I knew a family that lived very close to the location and had six children. Long story short, I made a phone call and waited. Soon a return call would confirm my fears. The SUV involved was the exact family that I suspected; only the news was much worse than expected. The father of the children had been killed. I didn’t really know how to respond. I was in shock. This was only supposed to be a nightmare that takes place in movies, not in the lives of my friends, and certainly not my own life. His name was Kevin. Kevin Lawyer. He was an orthodontist. Therefore, he was a doctor. So they called him Dr. Lawyer. Kind of confusing.

Anyway, I knew Kevin and his family and was shocked by the events that were unfolding. I quickly made some phone calls to confirm the stories and hoping beyond hope that is was rumor, but I soon found the unbearable news to be the undeniable truth. I called Lance to inform him. He had not heard anything. We quickly decided that we had to cancel our trip to Ohio. I made a trip up to the church to be with some students that were having drama/band practice and then came back home to get Rach and go to Johns Hopkins in downtown Baltimore to be with the family.

Lance and Amy introduced us to the Lawyer’s not long after we moved here. I got to know them more and more over the last couple of years though dramas at church. The very first drama I was in at LifePoint was with Kevin and his wife, Suzie. Rachel started to get to know them by teaching their kid’s Spanish in the summer time. Kevin and another friend Lou Sabad, invited me to golf with them at the Annual Men’s Summit. I wasn’t much of a golfer, but they insisted so I went. I was bitten by the golf bug on that trip. Those were the seeds of getting to know the Lawyer’s.

Kevin was an incredible man. His life was overflowing. Life just bubbled out of him, you know, like opening a 2 liter of Dr. Pepper. He was involved in so much at LifePoint. He taught and acted in children’s ministry, worked on dramas that the main service was hosting and would lead a community group. His life touched so many people at LifePoint and beyond. In addition to his ministry, his professional work was as impressive. He was known for his fun-loving spirit and passion for helping people.

Okay, now for a few thoughts in light of the circumstance. I watched so many things this weekend that were hard to watch, yet fascinating. I saw the people of LifePoint pour out love on a family. Not just the immediate family, but everyone that was close to Kevin. I heard words of hope given to people who had no hope. I saw faith in action. I watched Suzie rely on her faith in Christ as she was forced to move from wife to widow. I heard story after story of how much Kevin’s life had impacted them to give their life to Christ. I watched about 2500 people come out to support Suzie at a visitation and another mass of people come for a celebration memorial. I could not believe the atmosphere. It felt much more like a wedding than a funeral.

The Church

I watched so many people sacrifice so much toward the memory of Kevin, out of their faith in Christ. Now, I think the cynic might say, “People just did that as a way to cope with their own pain.” However, I would argue that watching the church be the church was so much more than selfish people working to provide selfish relief. Watching the church this past weekend was supernatural. I watched so many people striving to commemorate Kevin’s life by serving each other and the community in a sort of biblical, spiritual triage. The idea of hope coming out of something so broken is so much the nature of God. The church is such a mystery. There seems to be nothing quiet like it. The mystery of perfect strangers becoming family, bound by the love of Christ, is so counter to our nature. Our nature is to serve self. The nature of Christ is to love others. When we become persuaded by the gospel, we surrender our lives to Christ and take on His nature, we become different. We want to reach people with the same love with which we were reached. Our collective counter cultural lives become the church. I love the diversity of it, the worldwide size of it and the message that is common to it; that Christ came to save that which was lost. Without Christ I truly would be without purpose and aimless. Evidence of this love was so vivid this weekend. Christ and His nature were seen in so many places, from Kevin’s life and Suzie’s faith to loving friends reaching out to each other and a community in pain. It was an incredible sight to see. What a joy to be part of God’s people.

Offering

My final thoughts during the memorial service were occupied with something my pastor, Joe said a few weeks ago. He explained what Paul, while on house arrest in Rome, meant when he said his life was like a drink offering. The drink offering was used as a means of making an offering on the altar that would essentially be wasteful. No one was allowed to drink from it, as it was only to be used to pour on the altar. Therefore it was seen by outsiders as a waste. Paul used it as a means of analogy to say that outsiders may see his life as a waste, just because he was in prison. I couldn’t help but think back to that analogy. I could see such a picture of Kevin’s faith being poured out as an offering to Christ in every area of his life. And then even in his death, what we might call a waste was no waste at all. God even redeemed Kevin’s untimely death to bring more people to Himself through the life and death of Kevin. It makes me wonder in what ways I can waste more of my life on others?

President Clinton Visits Nourishing Mother

Stephen F Austin is my Alma Mater. Alma Mater in latin is "Nourishing Mother." I thought this was funny. If your in the Nacogdoches area, you may want to drop by just for the heck of it.

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SFA Home / Public Affairs / News Releases / February 2008

Former President Clinton to speak at SFA Friday afternoon
Former President Bill Clinton is scheduled to talk Friday afternoon in the Grand Ballroom of the Baker Pattillo Student Center. Doors will open for the event at 6 p.m.

The former president will be speaking to Nacogdoches-area supporters of Democratic presidential candidate Hillary Clinton during a daylong, East Texas tour that will include Texarkana, Longview, Tyler and Lufkin.

Random Blog Thoughts

We just got back from Vertical Weekend 2008 at Whitetail Mountain. It was a great time. Jonathan Taylor Martin came up with a friend, Patrick Lockwood to lead us in worship. They did a great job. I had a friend from Grace Fellowship (Columbia), Jamie Schaad, come and teach the retreat. He did an amazing job. It was a great time. You can check out a few picts over to the right. (It's also some picts from my awesome trip with Rob's group to CO.)

P.S. I love my students and leaders! They were/are awesome!

Randominity:

- the shadow at the bottom of the picture is me.
- rach and I just purchased 1/4 of a steer (freezer beef) totalling 158 #s. I truly am from Texas.
- rach downloaded Eye of the Tiger from itunes; it reminded me of getting ready for church on Sunday mornings as a child. I would always get ready early and go listen to Dallas Holm's song Rise Again, and promptly after that I would play, mind you it was a record, Eye of the Tiger. Nothing like worship prep!
-I started watching LOST, but only the 1st 3 episodes on DVD. Long way to go but i'm hooked.
-I really love my wife. We seem to get along very well - and we've been married 12.5 years now.
-I'm already trying to figure out how to go skiing again before too long. Pitiful.

ok. done.

Uncle Jason...again!

A special welcome to my new niece just born this week! Paisley Jewel Carnley

You can find more picts of her here.

Da'boys

Sunday is a big day for the Cowboys! It's going to be a tough competition facing New England, but I think we can do it! Especially after such sloppy offensive play Monday night against the Bills. I think that game may have been just the wake up call needed to get everybody on track for shutting down Brady.

I meet at least 1 Cowboy fan a week up here! They're everywhere!

On a different note, it's fall here and still hot! It's been in the 90's for a week and is just now starting to cool down.

Went mountain biking on Saturday morning at a place called Avalon. It was cool. I stumbled upon the historic site of the first railroad - ever. It was invented here. The train track went from Baltimore to Ellicott City. About 30 miles apart. It was fun. Josh Swann and I rode about 8 miles or so and it was some crazy terrain. One place the trail ended abruptly and just dropped off this steep steep rocky incline. Good ride though.

Time for The Hunt 3...... Lot's of work to do.

Notice that I added a friend to the blog. He's on the blog roll now.

Lovin' Adobe Illustrator!

Rachel and I went out to RVR (That's River Valley Ranch for the non-marylanders) and visited with some of our good friends Chad and Erin Bonawitz. While we were there we took a few picts for the upcoming Ride of Passage in July. I used my bike as a prop and Chad held it until last minute for the "suspension shot." It was a great day driving around RVR and a great visit with Chad & Erin.

We took a moment for Erin to snap a picture of Rachel and I in the Jeep while we there.

I'm in the beginning stages of trying to talk myself into selling the Jeep. I need to, but don't want to.

Reality Vs. Imagination

I really love mountain biking! It's so much fun. I feel like I'm actually riding a 74Z Speeder bike. You know, when the Stormtroopers were chasing Luke and the Ewoks on the Forrest Moon of Endor. Man I always wanted to ride one. Now, I feel as though I get to every week!