Confessions of a Recovering Pharisee

Yesterday I spoke at our main service for the first time. I spoke on a subject that was close to me, but painful to think about. The time I spent preparing opened my eyes to a couple of things, so I thought I would gather my thoughts again in a different format than the talk.

In reading and writing about the Pharisees, I came across this book, called 12 Steps for the Recovering Pharisee by John Fischer. It’s a great book that guides the reader to a new method for living life.

Through the book, and of course, the scripture, God began to convict me of the ways I treated people while I was growing up. Now in order to keep from preaching the sermon again, I will take a different approach.

I think I have spent much of my life protecting my image. You know what I mean, right? “I can’t wear that.” “I wouldn’t date her!” “I wouldn’t go there.” or How about this one? “No way, I’m not going to talk to that person” It seemed that no matter where I was, I would base every decision on what the outcome of the task in question would do to my image. Now, I have found that this has always influenced my decisions.

Image, becomes superior to everything. Image becomes nothing more than a fear of what other people think. Not only that, but image becomes the gage in which we live. For instance, I used to think that Christianity was not much more that doing good things and trusting Christ for salvation. Therefore, I would live in this image game of comparing myself to those around me and desperately join rank. Truth be told, out rank.

Through my studying, I ran across the same principal via Donald Miller. He calls this approach the “lifeboat economy.” He explains “lifeboat economy” as a time in elementary school where he and his class was asked to discuss what to do with a group of 5 people that needed to be rescued. The rub was that there was only room for 4 in the lifeboat. This of course meant that out of a lawyer, doctor, schoolteacher, nurse, and a mother, someone would have to be left out. The students had to come up with an answer as to whom.

I feel like I grew up in lifeboat economy. You know, where everyday you look at your image and look at the image of those around you and try and decide if you get to stay in the boat. This lifeboat economy is everywhere, from class rank to first-string varsity. No matter where you went or what you did, it depended on image in a lifeboat economy.

I think the Pharisees created lifeboat economy. You know, do the right things and follow every law and you fit in. They didn’t even care if you knew you were a sinner. “You without sin cast the first stone” and starting with the oldest they each walked away. They knew that were sinners, yet they thought their image alone would qualify them as righteous.

I think somewhere along the course of my life I picked up a measuring tape. I started measuring my shortcomings compared those around me, making sure that I was always better than the next person. I would judge everyone based upon how good they were and how much better I was.

Jesus turned lifeboat economy inside out. He said things like, “the last shall be first and first shall be last.” and “When you minister unto the least of these you minister unto me.” When I came to Christ I should have realized something incredible that I didn’t realize.

I should have traded image for message. The message of Jesus Christ trumps image. Everything I do should now be based on my message and not my image. In a grace economy, there is no image. We all fall short. Why spend time measuring the faults of others and us when they all fall astronomically short?

My message is simple. “I don’t have what it takes to survive in a lifeboat economy. I abandoned the lifeboat economy and surrendered to a new economy called the grace economy. Not only do I survive here, I thrive here. Grace is unbelievable and scandalous. You see in grace economy there are plenty of seats because Christ is the lifeboat. There is plenty of grace to go around. To paraphrase a scripture: Where there is infraction of the Law, grace abounds all the more.” That’s the message. No more room for image.

I think the next time God speaks to me about doing something. You know, things like “talk to him about my Son,” I hope I can immediately say to myself, message trumps image and then speak. If not, then I’m still playing lifeboat economy, and we all go bankrupt in a lifeboat economy every time.